Isn’t it funny how when you have things you are working on, the lesson comes to you over and over. You hear it in a friends story, in the music you listen to, in the books you pick up casually, the thing your soul is ready to shift surrounds you. It’s like the new car thing, you never noticed the particular car you drive now until you are interested in it.
I’ve spent time again lately contemplating mindset and how it effects your ability to be consistent and keep at what you are doing. To be honest, I’ve been struggling with consistency. I’ve spent my entire adult life avoiding a full-time job with a regular schedule, I’ve done countless different jobs (bagel baker, prison matron, corporate event management, doula, massage therapist, caterer, bartender, and on and on), many just for the novelty of it. The shifting schedules, the connection with new people, the challenges of learning new things keeps me interested and engaged. Randomness delights me. Unfortunately, this means I have challenges with consistency. My current focus and goal of building this business is like caring for any garden, it needs water and food and sunlight and regular attention to grow. Lately I’ve been struggling to stay engaged. Part of that is the fact that in order to support our lives while I build my business I’m taking on more and more regular work. I’m in an office 20+ hours a week these days with an hour commute each way, mix in my massage practice and doula practice and the business I’m growing with the priority of cultivating my relationship and it suddenly takes some serious focus to keep putting in the time to grow that business.
I’m realizing a few things this week, and I thought I’d share them since I know, that like me, many of you are trying hard to make dreams come true and probably need the same inspiration and community support that I do. Heads up! I hear you and you’re not alone out there.
Here’s my lessons from this week. I’d love to hear what you’re learning.
Lesson 1: I need to surround myself in people who are working on something the same as I am.
So, as you know, your thoughts are systematically colored (and therefore, your motivation) by the conversation and mindset of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Their attitudes, perspective and beliefs color how you see things simply by sharing the daily experiences in their lives. I started reviewing this week the focus of the bulk of my conversations for the past month. Here’s the thing, everyone is in a different place in life, and I’m not getting down on anyone for struggling or being down. What I’m realizing though is that my energy, my motivation, my focus, have all been low for the past several weeks. Nothing bad has happened, above and beyond basic life, but my perspective on how hard it is has been skewed toward it feeling harder. I’ve felt more overwhelmed and unmotivated than I did a month ago. The biggest reason for that is the languaging and beliefs I’ve been surrounding myself in.
When I think about it, the only real changes have been my focus on my mindset. In September I joined a challenge group that was focused on goal setting and achievement. I had to report daily (activities, personal development, business development, etc.) to the administrator, I was on a team call 1-2 times a week with an in person meeting with my mentor weekly. In that time I hit an all new plateau for my business, my commissions doubled and my attitudes, perspective on what was possible and ability to support the people in my circles was at an all time high. A big part of the challenge was about guarding your brain and focusing on the things that will allow you to cultivate a mindset that is focused on positive growth and personal development. A minimum of an hour a day had to be devoted to something that would help me grow on top of the 3-5 hours a day of work to build your business. It was intense and productive.
In October, when the month long challenge was over, my activity basically stopped. Because I wasn’t committed to a community that was focused on similar goals and achievements it was suddenly hard to focus and invest the necessary time to get where I want to go. Here’s the thing, I have substantial goals for my business, I plan on retiring at 47, just 3 short years away, a totally manageable goal if I stay focused. To manage that I have to keep up a steady level of activity, part of that is being accountable to all of you by writing here once a week. Massive action one month and nothing the next won’t get me there.
The thing is, it’s hard to put the needed time in if you aren’t in a community who is doing the same thing. It’s so much easier to make the commitment when the people you talk to are also sharing how much time they spent and the sacrifices they are willing to make to focus on personal development each day and new ways they are finding to carve out the energy and time to strive toward their goals.
I was on a small conference call this past Friday, and what made this all click for me was how motivated I felt (at 8 in the bloody morning) when I got off the call. More motivated then I’d felt in weeks. This is why who you invite into your inner circle is so important. It makes all the difference in how motivated you feel and what you accomplish when the people around you are saying things like “I’m on track to hit my goal by june of next year, I’ll have to stay focused and put in another 5 hours a week on top of what I’ve been doing, but it’s worth it” as opposed to “Everything sucks, and my life is full of exhausting, unsurmountable obstacles that I will never get past so I give up.”
I’m not saying give up on people or cut people out of your life. Just that in paying attention to what feeds you and resources you, what fills the well of strength that you water your life with will allow you more resource when you want to lend support to the people in your circle who are struggling. People who cheer you on and honor your inner badass because you are putting in the time you need are vital to changing your life. They are also a key component in establishing your inner belief in your ability to accomplish your goals.
This means I’ve recommitted to my training calls. I also established new connections with a friend to support each other with a weekly accountability call and committed to a weekly Friday morning conference call with other people who are a part of my larger team.
Lesson 2: the words I use can either expand or limit my world and possibilities.
This lesson has been in my face, every where I turn for the last few weeks. I’m laughing today because I picked up a book (Hedge Witch by Silver Ravenwolf) at a delightful store in Westwood, The Mystic’s Altar and was paging through it. There, in the beginning of the book is a whole section on Primal Language which in essence echoes some of the concepts shared on my conference call last Friday (I’ll post in my Hippie Test Projects tab the exercise along with the quantum leveraging exercise I’m learning to use if you want to try them). Basically, what you say out loud, repeatedly, becomes true.
Thoughts/words become things so be conscious about what you are asking for and how you ask for it. If you say you want a new car and then list all the ways your current one stinks, the thing you paid the most attention to, felt most deeply, which is what a POS your current car is, will be what is brought to you. Your unconscious mind will point out issues and encourage you to ignore basic maintenance that could have prevented you being stuck on the side of the road, being forced to find a new car, rather than helping clear the way for a new, better situation to come to you and a way opening up where your old car can be a blessing to someone else somehow.
There are times in life where we miss major opportunities for new experiences because we are so caught up in our history and story about either the past or where we are right now. Focusing on what we want to create, achieve, experience or have, phrasing it in a positive, present tense allows our unconscious mind to start filtering all the subtle stimulus in the world around us and grab hold of the threads of possibility when they show up rather than letting them pass by. Part of having a different experience is being able to recognize that new experience when it shows up in our lives.
What I’m learning is this is also how manifestation works. It’s part shifting your awareness, part reprogramming your brain to recognize it when it shows up and part trusting that the universe/goddess/god (whoever you talk to) will conspire with you for the positive outcome you desire. Ultimately, make room in your life for what you want to achieve, clean the space, talk about it as though it is already here, trust that somehow, it will show up and it will. Sounds crazy, but it works. Sometimes it’s a surprise check, sometimes it’s a friend clearing out a house or a promotion or new client, basically, it’s the way synchronicity works. You’re just tapping into it and trusting that it will continue to work.
For me, this lesson was echoed in September, I put continuous effort in, focused all my attention on my business and I moved up to a level that doubled my commissions. Weirdly though, it was like everyone in my team caught the energy and focus, even when they were people I had never spoken to. What I did directly wasn’t specifically what benefitted me, it was the energy invested, the daily meditation and twice daily review of my affirmations that speak of my goals as though they are already here. In October, I got caught up in my story about how hard things can be, caught up in staying up late watching TV (hey, I just spent a whole month busting my ass, don’t I deserve time to relax?!!) and a day off from my structured pursuit of my goals was suddenly a month of sputtery, inconsistent action with little to show for it and ground lost in my business.
So I’m going to say it out loud to all of you. I am committed to interacting with my community, all of you out there making shit happen, you inspire me and help me keep moving. I am committed to achieving my goals, in particular to retiring myself and my wife in 3 years. I’m committed to massive action that produces profound results. I am also giving myself an assigned day off so I won’t slack and take a month again – basically, I’ll have one brownie instead of a whole pan at midnight. It’s so much easier to keep a car moving than to start pushing it from a dead stop. Right now, I’m pushing a car uphill, I know I can do it, but what I’m really excited about is when I hit the top of the hill, we get some serious momentum going and I can watch it coast. Really, it’s all about consistency and my goals are worth learning to do things in a different way than I have before.
So what are you learning these days? Message me below. Hearing about what you’re working on inspires me.